Everybody makes mistakes. Parents are no different. We make mistakes all the time but there are certain ones that you don’t want to keep making.
You may think that the biggest mistakes we make are letting our children sleep in our beds, giving in to them for 5 minutes peace, letting them have to many sweet treats but your wrong. There are so many things that we all do, me included, on a daily basis that are so damaging not only to our children but to ourselves as parents.
Here’s the top 9 mistakes you don’t want to keep on making if your a mum.
#1 Live viciously through your children.
When your child succeeds its only natural to feel super proud of them. It makes us happier than if we had done it ourselves. But as they get older it’s easy to become overly involved in their life. Which means its then difficult to tell where they end and we begin. When our children become extensions of us it feels like they are our second chance at life. It becomes all about our happiness as a parent and not about theirs.
#2 Comparing yourself and your children.
You can’t deny that you don’t compare yourself, your children and even your life to that of overs all the time. I know that i do. But it’s time to stop. As hard as it is. Comparing ourselves starts to become a habit, but no one is doing any better than another. We are all just out here trying to do our very best. Nobody can be perfect at everything but we all succeed in some way.
#3 Keeping them to busy
Just like us adults children need some down time. I know of some children that take part in different activities each day and some days they are even doing. Parents seem to think that keeping their children busy with stop them from getting in to trouble. But after a while they are totally burned out and exhausted. Their behaviour then becomes challenging as they are over tired. Yes let them take part in some some activities but also leave days for some down time too. Rest is just as important and exercise.
#4 Second guessing yourself
Was that the right decision? Have i done that right? Just stop. Take time to think decisions through. Then when you come to a decision go with it and don’t look back. You have so got this. Have a bit of faith in yourself and your abilities as a parent. On the odd occasion when the decision you have made doesn’t go your way don’t fret. Everybody gets things wrong sometimes. Just take a moment to look at what went wrong and what you could do differently next time.
#5 Engaging in Competitive Parenting
Every parent has a competitive streak, its only natural. In my opinion the root to this is fear. The fear that if we don’t jump into the craziness and pull out all of the stops that are children will get left behind. I believe our children need to be taught they have to work for things and that dreams don’t just get handed to you but also that its not ok to throw others under the bus to get to where you want.
#6 Allowing others to Undermine you
Remember you are the parent. Whatever you say goes. All the advise that gets thrown your way is exactly that advice. You can take it or leave it. Just because somebody has given you some advice it doesn’t mean you are bound by it. Its your family, you make the rules.
#7 Missing the Wonder of Childhood
We are so blessed to share our lives with our little people. One day there won’t be sticky handprints on every surface, toys strewn across the floor and it will be quiet because of children will be out with their friends rather that at home with us. Raising children in a 24 hour a day job. It can be physically and emotionally draining at times but they only get one childhood so make the most of it.
#8 Judging other Parents
No matter how much we disagree with others parenting styles its not our place to judge. Everybody is just doing there very best. We don’t know what others are going through or when we will need mercy ourselves.
#9 Not allowing yourself a break
You can’t be somebodies everything 24/7. As a parent you are constantly there for your child/children. Their nose wiper, food provider, nappy changer and general slave. This often leaves very little time for yourself. Some times we all need to take some time to remember who we are aside from being mum.
Parenting is a tough old job. I know that i do plenty of the things on this list and i bet if your honest with yourself you do too.